Middle Age and Death


My partner and I like to go out to eat sushi once a month. We’ve been going to the same place for years, and we know the owner like family. This last time, we were chatting with the woman, and my partner mentioned a funeral she had to attend last month when her uncle passed. The restaurant owner came back with some wise words, “I hate when you get to that part of life when it’s no more weddings and babies but all sickness and funerals.”

I feel like I’m at the threshold of that life. I’ve hit middle age.

I don’t know if middle age is really a number. I’m 44, which isn’t really that old, or at least so I like to think. Maybe it’s more of a life experience kind of thing. I still like to go to kids movies and rock out to punk and alternative music. In my head I’m still just out of college. But my body? Errgh. I had to have foot surgery in March because the pain of a fallen arch had grown too much. Even now that I’m fully recovered, I still have pain, which means I’ll probably have pain now for the rest of my life. That sucks!

And then on top of that, I had to put down one of our pet cats yesterday. She was fairly old for a cat (12 years) and had cancer in her throat, poor thing. Looking at the rest of our pets (we have 6 others), they’re all heading into that “senior” period for animals, so there will likely be more deaths in the future. The oldest is a Shiba Inu who is 14. She has skin issues but is otherwise quite lively.

I’m grateful that I have a kid, who will be heading off to college in a few years. I see how it is for friends who don’t have children or are single. Life really does seem to climb an apex and start heading down after that nebulous midpoint.

Not sure what I think about it yet. But yeah, it definitely sucks to get older.

RIP, Dokuritsushin. (“Doku” for short).

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